Moments in Film History I'd Like to See

"My Dinner With André" to be Re-Released in 3D.

The 3D revolution is now complete. With the imminent re-release of the seminal, if motionless, "My Dinner With Andre" (1981, Saga Productions), the film industry announces its intention to milk the recent obsession with 3D for everything it is worth. The original, cult favorite from director Louis Malle, stars Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory, as themselves, conversing in a restaurant. That's it. They talk about other places, and fantastical goings-on, but they, and the audience, remain seated in the restaurant throughout the film. It was a minor success and has enjoyed cult status ever since, but never reached a wider audience than film critics, film students and readers of "The New Yorker."

Saga Productions believes the movie can find a new audience by introducing 3D technology. In justifying the re-release, producer Henry Zuckerman said, "I don't think viewers truly got a sense of what it was like to have Wallace Shawn poking his finger at Mr. Gregory." The director was going for a shot that just wasn't possible in 1981 with the technology available then." he added. "Now, in the point of view shots, the audience will feel as if the finger is coming right at them. It's really amazing what you can do now." Early test audiences have, indeed, been observed leaning back slightly during this scene. One audience member even shielded herself with her hands, as if Shawn's finger might strike her.

Painstaking care was taken in rendering the restaurant in three dimensions, and some scenes proved more difficult to pull off. Explained chief animator, intern Chuck, "Well, there's a scene where Shawn, because he's talking so fast, and has . . . you know, that lisp, that he spits a little in Gregory's face. It's almost imperceptible. But each of those little droplets had to be rendered, frame by frame. Not to mention the gesticulating. Geez, those guys use their hands to talk a lot."

If this release is a success, Saga intends to re-release "My Dinner With Andre" for IMAX theaters. In this version, Wallace Shawn's bald spot will be the size of a putting green.

Gleeview

Okay, so since I'm now officially a Gleetard - in spite of my absolute 50:50 love/hate relationship with the program - I feel suddenly duty-bound to discuss each week's defining moments with the rest of the Gleetards. Short of that, I'll share my thoughts with my blog subscribers, or as I like to call them, lser913@aol.com.

Season 2 / Episode 2

First off, the visual joke at the open was worth the price of admission, so I hope you caught it: Miss Pillsbury's sex-ed pamphlets had wonderfully comical titles, my favorite (or the only one I can remember) being, "Wow! There's a Hair Down There." . . . I was genuinely concerned that Ryan Murphy might actually try to justify (or even celebrate) Christopher Cross' recording career for a minute there, but the Michael Bolton joke was a redeeming moment . . . Sorry, but Britney Spears is a pop music machine; not an artist. And if I have to listen to another angry/yelling/jealous/love song by any of these song factories, my head is going to explode. That said, the musical numbers crackled with life and the performances were top-drawer, as usual. The creators get a pass on my usual overproduction criticism, because all but one of the numbers was a fantasy. A fantasy is always overproduced, or you're not doing it right, right? So sure, bring on the giant hair-blowing fans, the autotune, and the glam. But please, during rehearsals, could somebody's voice crack? Is that so much to ask? (And I don't mean fall completely apart, as Rachel's did last season.) Just one mistake would be nice. But no. Everybody from the chorus to the band knows every part, perfectly, the first time they play anything. Which reminds me, could one of these divas please throw an appreciative bone to the band? Hello? The writers could have even more fun bringing the band into the mix. But I digress. . . The story; oh yes, the story, was there one? The first two episodes this season have featured enough musical numbers to bolster the entertainment sector of the economy with costuming and make-up alone. Of course, storytelling is not the show's strong point. The relationship dramas became boring the second half of the first season. Where the writers shine is in their keen observations of high school life. While I would still argue that these kids - if we are to take their bounty of talents at face value - would be among the most popular in any high school in the world, I'll accept the premise that they're vilified by a particular segment of the school's population. I still don't think the writers know who some of their characters really are, though, apart from being a human delivery system for the show's wit. (Puck, Quinn and Britney come quickly to mind. ) . . . Geez, I had to wait almost the entire length of the program for my Sue Sylvester moment, which was so rambling and weird that I can't remember even the gist of it. I do remember that it made me laugh, though. . . But my favorite line had to be the principal's introduction of New Directions, which began, "Fresh off their last place finish at regionals. . . ." I mean, he said it with such conviction and pride, it was priceless.

To any 14-year-old boy out there who says, "Glee SUCKS," I couldn't say that I disagree with you. Like I said, love/hate; 50:50.

Don't look for another entry anytime soon. I'm guessing I'd be able to copy and paste these comments, with just a few changes, as a response to any upcoming episode.

And that's what I think about . . . . GLEE!